After One Year of Memory Care

A year ago, we moved Gayla to Balfour’s Cherrywood Village memory care campus, amid many questions, concerns and fears. Was it the right decision and the right timing? How could she be happy in such a different living environment? Would we suffer with guilt and remorse? What would the future bring? We understood the realities of Alzheimer’s Disease, and it was hard to envision an acceptable outcome.

Everything was personal. Gayla was diminished but still special. She had pride and did not understand how things had changed. In her mind, she was a volunteer, a helper and a leader. The transition to Cherrywood was smoother than expected, but moments of joy were followed by inevitable setbacks.

In the last year, Gayla has declined, and there was no way to avoid the pain as we watched week after week. Now, she is often unaware of what is going on around her, sometimes is uncertain about who we are, shuffles instead of walking, sometimes needs help standing up from a chair, is incontinent, and frequently nods off into her inner world. All of this is depressing when we remember the vibrant woman with an infectious laugh, who was an incredible leader throughout her life. That person lives in our memories, and despite the changes, love still fills the room when we are with her. The lady has staying power!

The surprising thing is that on an emotional level she blends in well with her new friends. She is where she belongs and is comfortable with the routines. And while Gayla has changed, so have we. We have survived and grown and gained a more informed perspective on what is truly important. We have a deeper understanding of joy, happiness, and the flow of life. Is it possible that adversity has some benefits?

Before, I thought Cherrywood was a welcoming home for people in need. It is more than that. Cherrywood is a community of loving and caring people, some are old and dealing with adversity, while the others are true professionals who have dedicated themselves to making a positive difference for people who need their support. I have been amazed at how the love and care Gayla receives is replicated throughout the community.

Alzheimer’s is a curse, but it is also an inescapable reality. All we can do is try to make best of it. After being a fulltime caregiver for years, the decision to move Gayla to Cherrywood gave me my life back. Now, with renewed involvement in other activities, more sleep, and exercise, my health has improved. And having learned how little we knew when we began the Alzheimer’s journey, I have new mission. I want to help other caregivers through the process. That is the reason we created Dementia Caregivers Connection.org.